What Happens After Burnout

If you read last week’s post, then you know I’m facilitating a daily notan challenge this month on my free Facebook group (still ongoing and super fun!), but additionally… well, I was gone for quite a few months from here, and Instagram, and Facebook. Where was I?

Taking a much needed break. ☹ It took me a year and a half of powering forward with my art business, but I burnt myself out.

The Importance of a Private Space

Logistically, I’ve come to recognize the difficulties of running a second business while raising a family. But I imagine that’s not very different than anyone who has tried to start up a business. There are only so many hours in a day. You can drill down and allocate the hours you think a task needs, but eventually, the bill comes due. I imagine we’ve all been there at one time or another?

You have to construct a sustainable scaffolding for yourself. You have to be patient enough for your dream to grow organically (something I’ve not been very good at). And you have to hold fast to that kernel that made you want to dive in in the first place, while you’re promoting your work.

Promoting. Promoting, promoting, promoting….. Holy cow, a lot of outward facing energy.

Which is how I eventually came to understand that, even though I like selling art, and teaching and making videos, and don’t mind so much posting to social media, first and foremost I’m an artist, and I need to honor that first. That means a slowing of the pace, to sanely find the hours to paint. It means making more connections when I want to (the notans challenge, for example), and also building the time and space to be alone, to focus on painting, and to CREATE! 😊

Which brings me to how I’ve been spending a lot of my spare hours the last few months… Building a new art studio! 😊

Building an Art Studio

Not yet done, and with trim unpainted, but on the way!

I got this kit from Outdoor Living Today. They’re based out of Vancouver, BC. I could have built the whole thing from scratch (cheaper, I’m sure, but much harder and much much slower), or had a Tuff Shed built for me (a little more expensive, built by someone else much faster, but definitely not as cute), but I wanted that lovely combo of cute and a little cheaper, combined with the satisfaction of having built it myself. So bit by bit, I’ve worked on it out in the back of the garden since late July.

And it is cute. LOL. It’s little- 8’ x 12’ (although basically the same size as the room I painted in for over 10 years). I’m very excited to get painting and writing in it!

construction prep, like painting prep, takes a long time.

this is from August. i admit, I thought I’d be done ages ago! :P

I paid for it from the profits of my art business, which felt good. I dug out the soil and hauled it on my own. Pruned back trees. Carried in the lumber and bags of concrete. Dug the piers. Built a deck as a subfloor. And then brought in family to help with assembling the walls and roof. Since then, I’ve been working on trim, sealing it, windows, etc. It’s remarkably gratifying to work on a special space for yourself, purely being built for art making, writing, and time alone. It has honestly surprised me some how good it feels. I feel very privileged and grateful that I have the opportunity— both financially, physically, and emotionally.

My mother in law and daughter, being amazing helpers.

All the 60+ sweaty achy hours so far have helped me really pause and celebrate and validate my desire to create beauty and center myself. Sometimes I think we need to reacquaint ourselves with what we think is valuable, and this physically demanding, slow and steady process has really helped me do that. I guess I could have been painting these last 2 months if I had had someone else build it for me, but I feel so ready to paint now. Primed and eager, as I roll out the interior over the next 4 weeks (electrical, insulation, sheetrock, flooring, etc). I’m glad I slowed myself down. It’s not a race.

We’re Worth It, Folks. Art is Worth It.

But even so, I honestly felt a little selfish creating it. Not that my wife or daughter thought that at all. Everyone’s been very supportive. It’s all my own baggage. LOL.

I’m sure almost everyone feels this way to a certain extent, and I’ve definitely know a variety of women who feel this way, but, well, I just felt like I was most needed in the home, helping to run things, etc. and that having a space of my own was really just a luxury I didn’t need. I sure didn’t want to have a “man cave”. Hadn’t I painted in the back room of the house for years? Yes. Hadn’t that been enough then? Yes. Although, honestly, a variety of things have changed since a decade ago— house additions (my art room has a lot more through traffic now), my wife working from home part time, the girls being in high school, etc. All to say that I just felt… like I needed to create a space where I could focus, uninhibitedly be myself, and create. I’ve never actually had a space like that.

I think it can be very hard to accept that we’re worth it, that art making is valid (whether we’re making money all the time or not), and that we’re not abandoning loved ones by having a space alone. But I think we’re worth it, folks.